Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Poem for thought


I have been reading the book Charlie St. Cloud and this poem was mentioned a few times while I was reading last night. I thought I would look it up and I just loved it and had to share it with you! While I don't understand the whole meaning of the poem, every time I read it, I get more meaning out of these words. This poem is all about following your dreams and doing what you love. I love running and it is one of my biggest passions. I run because of the feeling I get after I know I have pushed myself beyond my body's limit, I do it because I get to meet amazing people that inspire me to be a better person, I do it because it makes me feel good about myself, and the most important thing is that I do it because it makes me happy. The feeling is indescribable; no words could ever do the "runner's high" I feel every time I finish a run justice. I want to live my life with no regrets, to know that I tried with all my heart to accomplish my dreams. I want to "dive for dreams and live by love." I want to tell the people I care about most how much they mean to me and how grateful I am to have them in my life. I really hope that you can find as much meaning in this poem as I have. I love it!
"dive for dreams"
by: E.E. Cummings
dive for dreams
or a slogan may topple you
(trees are their roots
and wind is wind) 
trust your heart
if the seas catch fire
(and live by love
though the stars walk backward)
honour the past
but welcome the future
(and dance your death
away at the wedding)
never mind a world
with its villains or heroes
(for good likes girls
and tomorrow and the earth)
in spite of everything
which breathes and moves, since Doom
(with white longest hands
neating each crease)
will smooth entirely our minds
-before leaving my room
i turn, and (stooping
through the morning) kiss
this pillow, dear
where our heads lived and were.

silently if, out of not knowable

silently if, out of not knowable
night's utmost nothing,wanders a little guess
(only which is this world)more my life does
not leap than with the mystery your smile
sings or if(spiralling as luminous
they climb oblivion)voices who are dreams,
less into heaven certainly earth swims
than each my deeper death becomes your kiss
losing through you what seemed myself,i find
selves unimaginably mine;beyond
sorrow's own joys and hoping's very fears
yours is the light by which my spirit's born:
yours is the darkness of my soul's return
-you are my sun,my moon,and all my stars
               

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Judgement

“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.”


-Bob Marley

It really annoys me when people judge and form opinions without any knowledge of the situation. I have done my fair share of judging others and I don't claim that I am perfect, but I would like to think that I am a good enough person to realize that sometimes there is more to something than what meets the eye. I may not always understand the reasoning, but it doesn't mean that I can't express empathy and concern towards a person and/or their situation.

I can't say that I am an expert regarding subjects such as autism and bipolar disorder, but I do know enough to realize that it doesn't make those suffering with such mental illnesses any less of people. I wouldn't try and tell someone living with bipolar disorder how to live their life or how to "cure" their episodes because it isn't in my place to do so. I can be aware of a situation, expression concern and offer my listening skills, but I wouldn't pretend like I was a professional on the subject matter. Regardless of what it is we are dealing with, we all have our own battles to fight and unless we have the exact same experience of the person/situation that we are evaluating, then we have no place to try and assert our opinion.

I vow to:
  • Be more accepting and refrain from judgment until I have gained a complete understanding of the situation
  • Be a better listener to everyone

Friday, July 2, 2010

Friendship

"Together forever, never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart." -Unknown

Have you ever had a friend that you felt you could go forever without seeing, yet you believe that everything will remain the same when you are reunited again? My best friend from New Jersey flew out today and is staying with us for a couple of weeks. We have been best friends since pre-school and even though we don't have the opportunity to talk on the phone every day, or see each other as frequently as we would like, we still are able to pick up right where we left off. I am so blessed to have such an amazing best friend like Megan and I am looking forward to her time here in California.

I am lucky to have a few best friends that I can count on to be there for me through thick and thin. I met Megan the very first day of pre-school and we decided from that moment on that we were cooler than the rest of our classmates; we have stuck together ever since. One of the coolest things about our friendship is that our mom's are also best friends. Megan has always been the one I go to for advice about boys, friends, school, and life in general. She is one of the most optimistic people I know and I really admire that. This is her third trip out to California and I know that it will definitely be one to remember.

On the agenda so far, we have a trip to San Francisco planned, as well as a lot of little day trips in between. I wish she was able to spend more time out here with us this summer, but we are going to make the most of it while we can. There are so many things to do in so little time! I really am grateful though for a best friend like Megan.

Florida Southern College


I truly feel blessed to have had the opportunity to attend college out of state, and although I did my fair share of complaining while I was there, I realize now that it all happened for a reason. As cliche as that statement sounds, I really try and believe that God has a purpose for everything. I learned so many life lessons that I will take with me as I start a new chapter in my life at the University of La Verne and I am thankful to have experienced what I did at Florida Southern.

I never realized how much I relied on my family and friends until I was forced to fend for myself. I never realized how far Florida was until I spent an entire day of travel; navigating through airports, switching planes, trying to sleep on the 7 hour flight while creepy old men tried to talk to me, and simply trying to find a friendly face to help me lift my luggage. I had days where I longed to give my mom a hug or to have one of my best friend's there to tell me everything would be okay. I felt completely alone and helpless at times, but because of the love and support of a few close friends, I made it through my first year and actually made some pretty good memories that I will cherish forever.

I spent my entire first semester of college being completely miserable and feeling bad for myself. One of the reasons I decided to attend Florida Southern to begin with was because I got offered a decent scholarship to run cross country and track. I was disheartened when all of my hopes and aspirations for my college running career fell short; I had the worst cross country season since my sophomore year of high school and it crushed my confidence. I was so unhappy with the team, coaching situation, and the way that I performed that I started to hate running. I dreaded going to practice each day, hated traveling to meets with my teammates and just doing all these things that I used to love about running. It almost became a chore for me and I was almost at a breaking point. I am not and never will be a quitter, but on numerous occasions the thought of leaving the team became a favorable choice.

I had made a commitment when I signed the NCAA Division II papers and as much as I wanted to quit, I knew that it really wasn't an option. As much as I couldn't change the situation, I knew that I could focus my priorities on other things that would make me happier and decided to join a sorority. I have always seen myself as a "sorority girl" and I knew when I started college that it was something I was really interested in. I didn't know if I would have time however with practice twice a day, races, and spending time with my new teammates. I knew that I would be transferring at the end of my first year, but I needed to do something for myself for a change. I joined Gamma Phi Beta and it was one of the best decisions I have made. I became so much happier and it started to show in my workouts, races, and my family and friends even noticed. I needed to take my mind off of running and meet new people and the sorority really helped me enjoy my last semester at FSC. As much as my friends didn't understand my desire to join a sorority for a semester, it didn't matter because I was doing it for myself. I love my beautiful sisters and hope they all know how much they mean to me.

As much as I complained bitterly about Florida Southern, it was an eye opening experience for me. I was forced to make decisions on my own and to rely on myself. I will never forget the people I met and the memories I made while in Florida and I want to say thanks to everyone that made it all worth it. I love you guys.

"Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in marching onward."
-Henry Ford